[facebook may have helped with this:::]

sofa king great
sarcasm; the body’s natural defense against stupidity
don’t go knock on deaths door, ring the doorbell and run, he hates that.
i’d rather be barefood.
i’d rather be travelling.
i’m not quite, i’m plotting.
death. the #1 killer in the USA. go tell your friends.
God loves you. unless you have tattoos. then you are going to hell.
textually active.
keep your money, i want change!
please don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer!
DANGER! ninjas and pirates and lasers and shit.
one of us is thinking about sex… and now there’s two.
dude, i am right here! ~wheres waldo~
spooning leads to forking
police station toilet stolen; cops have nothing to go on
i’m smiling, that alone should scare you.
i’ve got a.d.d and a box full of magic markers, oh the thrills i will have
can i shoot you with my cannon?
once i saw a forklift lifting a box of forks, it was too literal for me.